I Lost The Battle Of The Suitcase

Actually, it was the battle of the giant pile of dry cleaning bags and hangers. I call it the “battle of the suitcase” because there was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where they get home from a trip and leave the suitcases at the bottom of the stairs. No one moves them because each is waiting for the other to do it. Ray becomes really miffed when he notices that Deb is wearing clean clothes that should be dirty in her suitcase. He is so set against being the one to move them that he takes a plastic grocery bag as luggage on a business trip. And before he leaves he hides stinky cheese in one of the suitcases. The cheese, of course, becomes smellier when he’s gone. And well, you can imagine what happens next.

Our “suitcase” was a very large pile of plastic bags and hangers from the dry cleaners. My husband got sick of a bunch of empty bags and hangers hanging on his side of the closet, so he took them down and put them on the floor. They were on his side of the closet, so they didn’t bother me! After a couple of weeks on the floor on his side of the closet, they must have started to bug him. So he moved the pile to the floor of the master bathroom. Here it became a bit more of a nuisance. Still, we continued to step over the pile (sometimes on it!) for another couple of weeks and wait for the other person to clean it up. It’s too bad those plastic bags are see through, because I totally would have done the smelly cheese thing. The husband would have wigged out and given in. It would have been a sweet victory!

I know what you are thinking. What on earth is the matter with these people?!! Obviously, too many things to go into just now! I will tell you that I was thinking, “I should clean these up. But now that they are all tangled up on the floor, it’s going to be too difficult to do my recycling. He put them on the floor, he can clean them up!” I have no idea what the husband was thinking. Probably something along the lines of, “Her job is the house. Why isn’t she taking care of this? I’m not doing it!” Little did he know, he should be thanking the dry cleaning gods for see through bags. Because some stinky cheese could have been headed his way!

Why did I lose the battle? Because we were going on a trip and I didn’t want people to see that giant pile if we died. That’s right, I’m crazy. There are a couple of other things I didn’t want people to see in the event of our death that I didn’t get to. But I’m actually too embarrassed (shocking!) to speak of them. Let’s just say that I didn’t take some of my own house faking advice.

So, I took a giant black garbage bag and I (If you are environmentally or ecologically sensitive, look away, look away!) shoved the whole mess in there. Done! I know you are thinking, “Was that so difficult?”. And the the answer is “yes and no”. It does usually take longer when I do the appropriate thing and recycle everything. And it was a little bit annoying. I don’t know that it was annoying enough for a month long stand off. But I bet something similar happens again. 🙂 Mind you, we haven’t spoken of this even once! What is the craziest/funniest silent battle you’ve ever had?

**Update: the husband called from work, laughing. He claims to have had no idea a silent battle was going on. **

3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Jesse on March 30, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    This is also a battle my husband doesn’t know is happening. We have 4 toilets. The powder room and basement toilets both (intentionally, by Mommy) have tp roll holders where you simply slide the empty roll off the side and slide a new roll on. Both children quickly mastered this. Daddy, on the other hand, leaves the denuded roll where it is, picks up a new roll and when finished in the room, leaves the new roll on top of the toilet tank or counter. This isn’t a problem as again, both children will notice this and fix the issue. The kids’ bathroom does have a spring-loaded holder but our 4 yr old daughter has mastered this mechanism so no issue there. The issue lies in our bathroom. Directly (an inch) above the tp holder is a step-by-step sign on how to change a roll of toilet paper. The sign is not there for me. However, if I choose not to give in, the empties start piling up all around the base of the toilet. I typically clean around them and line them up neatly again, but he doesn’t notice. I sometimes let the empties grow to upwards of 10 before finally caving. This is an ongoing battle of which, I am sure, he has no idea is actually taking place.


  2. […] fights you have ever heard of? Well, maybe not the stupidest. It can’t be worse than the suitcase battle. Can […]


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