Moron? Or Sneaky Smart?

On Tuesday, Mark the plumber and his assistant Mike came to work on the shower in the pink bathroom. I had spoken to Mark on the phone a week before and told him that the shower/tub fixture I had purchased was two-handled just like the old one. In my mind, this would make installing the new fixtures easier. He did tell me that he would still have to take out some tile, but that he had a good tile guy who could fix it. He then quoted me a price for the work and I set the appointment.

When he was here on Tuesday, I started to notice that they had been in there for quite a while and were still working on the tub (a new flange was needed on the toilet as well). At around two hours, Mark came out and said to me, “That fixture is a real booger to put in.” I said, “Oh?”.
Mark: You didn’t tell me that it was a thermostatic fixture.
Me: I don’t even know what a thermostatic fixture is!
Mark: Instead of one handle for hot and one for cold, one handle controls water flow and the other controls temperature. It’s completely different than what you had before and requires a lot more work.
Me: Holy crap! I had no idea!
Mark: That’s kind of what I thought. Mike thought maybe you knew, but called around getting prices based on the cheaper description you gave.
Me (laughing really hard): I promise you, I am not smart enough about plumbing to pull off something like that! (Not to mention the fact that I wouldn’t want to gyp someone out of money that they rightfully earned.)

I’m sure he believed me because I’m also so clueless about buying plumbing fixtures, that I didn’t know that the drain pieces don’t come with the shower head, tub faucet, etc… He has to bring me some today when he comes to finish the job. I guess we’ll see if I’m still under suspicion…

Also, the husband is schizo. Here is my proof:
I called him at work after the plumbers left to tell the story from above. He gets all nutty and says,
Husband: You paid what he really deserves, right? You can’t just treat people that way!
Me: Calm down! I haven’t been given the bill yet. Of course I will pay him the correct amount!
Husband: When is the tile guy coming? And how much will that be?
Me: I don’t know.
Husband: How much is all of this costing me?! I’m getting screwed here!!!
Me: Hello, Schizo? Two seconds ago you were freaking out because you thought I hadn’t given the plumber enough money. You’re nuts!

I’m really starting to wonder if there is anyone else in the universe who gets this unbalanced by home improvement projects. He needs a support group!

3 responses to this post.

  1. My husband is the same way! Home improvement projects must make all men crazy. ;o)


  2. This is the sort of thing that i would do.

    Except I would never let on that I had no idea what the plumber was talking about.

    “Thermostatic fixture? Of course. What did you think I meant? You CAN deal with that, can’t you?”

    Because I’m always too embarrassed to admit that I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.


  3. I’m pretty sure everyone is made crazy by home improvement stuff – it’s like the mental trigger to insanity.


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