I live in Texas. I really like living in Texas. I’m a registered Republican. I don’t actually like the Republican or Democratic parties. I should probably become an Independent. The Republican Governor of Texas is Rick Perry. He’s an idiot. I must confess to having voted for this idiot. But that doesn’t mean you should repeat my mistake. Or God forbid, compound it, by making him President of the United States.
On the surface, it would seem that Pecos Perry and I agree on a lot of things. And you have to admit, he has great hair. But you need to look beneath the surface. And I’m afraid that there’s not much functioning brain matter beneath all that awesome hair. Or at least, functioning the way we would all like.You know, Honest, forthright, blah, blah, blah… Speaking of presidential candidates and hair – Did we learn nothing from John Edwards A.K.A. Silky Pony? Good hair equals not trustworthy. ( I get a real kick out of all the reporters on those NPR round tables who are still reeling in shock over the fall of John Edwards. More proof that reporters who cover DC should be exiled to the middle of the country once every couple of years, so they can pull their heads out of their @$$*$!)
Seriously, if the criteria for President of our great nation is now solely to provide great material for SNL, then Perry is your man. Late last year I saw him speak at an event. I left convinced that he was not right in the head. Or possibly other things that I’m not sure I can say. I hoped that because he was in the middle of his book tour, that it was just exhaustion. But it was pretty squirrely behavior for exhaustion. And isn’t being President a hard and exhausting job? I mean they always visibly age really fast from all the stress. What if he behaved that way while representing our country? Don’t get me started about red phones and buttons attached to bombs!
For you Republicans out there who thought you might have found your man, I have some research for you. Start searching on the internet for the Trans Texas Corridor. The important issues having to do with this nightmare are the use of imminent domain to swipe land and even to wipe entire towns off the map. Also, Perry gave the rights to run the road and all businesses along the road to a European company (Spanish I believe). This company also happens to be a contributor to Perry’s (gubernatorial) campaign. Another campaign contributor was the pharma. company that developed Gardasil. Perry was going to mandate that every 5th grader in the state be injected with this drug. This was a couple of years ago, when we had even less info. about the side effects, etc… The entire state freaked out and stopped him. There should also be a great video floating around of him berating a State Trooper for pulling his car over and ticketing his driver, even though his driver was most definitely speeding. So this is all of the crooked, “I’m better than everyone” BS that I can come up with off the top of my head. If this is what an average housewife knows about, how much more is there that we don’t know? I’m willing to bet that it’s quite a bit. He’s also very easily led and tends to reverse positions 180 degrees at the drop of a hat.
Please, please, please look elsewhere for a candidate. If you don’t, Democrats – prepare to be gleeful. 2012 will be a very fun year for you. And do I have to put it in writing? I will. Having such a buffoon, even as a candidate, is not good for America.