The Tundra

I can’t think of anything to write about, so I’ll tell you about The Tundra. Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures of The Tundra. I don’t think we even owned a camera during our time in The Tundra.

What the hell is The Tundra?! I’m getting to it!!!

A few months after we got married, we moved 10 hours away from home so my husband could attend grad school. And so we began our lives as a poor, working (me), studying (him) couple. This economic state of affairs meant that we were not always able to go home for the holidays. Luckily, I have an aunt and uncle who lived a couple hours way from us. They were always very generous in their invitations to us and we appreciated it. (The “Sex For Dummies” book she left in our room one time, not so much. Let’s just say there was stuff in that book I didn’t know about and still wish I didn’t!) Since we went home during the summers, most of our visits to them were in the winter. Remember winter. It’s very important. Oh and that we were located in the Midwest.

My aunt and uncle have a beautiful home in a picturesque small town. And I’m not kidding about this house. It was designed by (but not built by) Frank Lloyd Wright. Or something like that. It has high ceilings, wood floors, crown molding, paneling, windows in closets. It’s total house p*rn. It is an old house. But it’s been well taken care of. They always gave us the guest room on the first floor. And it even had a door into a lovely bathroom. So what’s the problem?

The problem was no heat! Every night that we stayed in that room was like being in what we imagined Siberia to be. Changing clothes was a torturous race! Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night was hell! Do you know how often I have to pee when I’m freezing? Every ten minutes! Oh, and as for keeping each other warm, wink, wink. The beautiful, old, iron bed was super squeaky!!! Enough said.

My husband started calling our room The Tundra. And eventually, my aunt found out. She proceeded to make fun of us and how wimpy we are,etc… And I think was even a little offended by our nickname. Fast forward a few years after we moved to Texas. My aunt sheepishly (but laughingly) tells us that one of their kids moved into that room and they discovered that the heat to that room and bathroom had been cut off. As in not connected to the house’s heating system for years! Vindication! I’m glad that my aunt and uncle at least listened to their own children. And I suppose I should be a bit concerned that they thought we were in essence “the boy who cried wolf”. That’s what we get for being high maintenance. 🙂

That is the story of The Tundra.